Bored, made a slideshow.

Just because...

How could I not post this?!

Lolz

(<3 the shirt, Uncle David)

Me/Munchkin

Hey Sarah Palin

They say if you don't vote you can't complain, and I really really enjoy complaining so I'm totally voting this year. I'm anxiously awaiting the next four complaint-ridden years of my life. That being said, I'm not posting this video to try and sway anyone's vote or belittle their candidate. I'm posting it because it made me laugh, especially the part when this couple threatens to move to Canada. Oh, and also because I like to spread propaganda.

Ummmm yeah.

I can't even think of a way to introduce this one. I'll just say: I really, really hope this is not real.

The eyes are the groin of the head.

That's what she said.

Coolest "blog" ever

Oh, man, I love unnecessary quotation marks. And, guess what, there is a whole blog dedicated to finding them. I haven't laughed so hard since spaghetti cats. My current faves:

(Not his real name?)

(I also like the dashes between Can-Pass-Germs and Puppy-to-Puppy. Awesome.)

(I can't decipher the code...)

A cat eating spaghetti. I'm just sayin'.

So....I had a pretty awesome weekend. Took the young'un to the zoo (saw my furriends)...

My sunflower decided to bloom...see, I can grow things:

And then THIS happened!

So, yeah, good weekend. Too bad it's over.

I knew I loved Anderson Cooper...

Just never really understood why. I think it's the Soup reference.

No kidding.

"Flavor of Love," not "Flavor of Friendship"

I've always wondered what exactly makes people want to go on a reality show. Sure, you get your fifteen minutes of fame, but you usually end up looking pretty shallow, stupid and detestable in the process. I guess I'll never understand, but I did just learn (thanks to Best Week Ever) that these people are NOT THERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.

Happy Fourth, from me and the Muppets

I promise not to leave this on autoplay forever.

And here is Cameron

I can't not post this on my blog, sorry

Because I love this dancing bear. And Lil' John.

Only in Polk County, Florida

I can say that, because I used to live there. Meet the Gator Whisperer: more proof that crack is wack, yo.

I got computer speakers!

Happy Birthday, me. Internets are great when you can hear them. By the way, I'd like to mention that I hate Tyra Banks. Now it's reality show clip time, so let's take some E!

Help me out here...

If anybody can explain these pictures...





Wtf.

I miss The Office.

So I find clips and watch them online even though I have no sound on this computer, and then I post the one that made me chuckle the most (even though I couldn't hear it) on my blog. Aaaaaand that is what I've been working on this afternoon.

I'm constantly making new furriends online.

Just some pictures that I thought were worth sharing-- the first is a Liger (pretty much my favorite animal)...

And the other three made me think of Ben. It just so happens that he's obsessed with lizards and polar bears AND kangaroos. So today's your lucky day, B5C. You can thank me later.


This one didn't turn out too well when I shrunk it. Click on the picture to go to the story.

McCain's Bush Problem

So I'm not trying to get all political here. Our choices, come November, are going to be kinda shitty and we're most likely screwed no matter what happens. (Not to be pessimistic or anything...) Still, the Bush-McCain Challenge just might convince you to vote for a carrot.

Happy Mum's Day

The internets are shrinking my brainz.

So I was skimming through a discussion thread on Ebaums last night (hey, I was bored) when I ran across a quote that was so thoroughly and mindlessly inane and stupid that I couldn't get it out of my head. So I googled the quote, keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that maybe I would find out that the person of origin was a ten year old or a mental patient or perhaps even Gary Busey. Yeah, that would make sense.
Nope. Turns out, there's a website that compiles numerous examples senseless meanderings like these from fundamentalist christians. Click the link if you're brave. Here's the one I first ran across (#1), along with a few more precious nuggets of mind-numbing wisdom:

1. Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

2. If u have sex before marriage then in Gods eyes u are married to that person if a man rapes a woman in Gods eyes they are married it sucks for the girl but what can we do.

3. What is called 'Science' today and 'scientists' consist of the same old gang of witch doctors, sorcerers, tellers of tales, the 'Priest-Entertainers' for the common people. 'Science' consists of a weird, way-out occult concoction of jibberish theory-theology... nothing good has ever come from 'science' --- In fact, technology is not in any way related to the web of idiotic scientific theory. ALL inventors have been anti-science. The Wright brothers said: "Science theory held us up for years. When we threw out all science, started from experiment and experience, then we invented the airplane."

4. To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.

5. A missionary I knew watched a bullet headed for him do a RIGHT ANGLE before it got to him.

6. So you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn't fear god's judgement i would have killed many many times.

These people are living and breathing among us. They actually exist (unlike gravity). Be very afraid.

Earth first.

Tomorrow's Earth Day, which sounds to me like a great excuse to post some more funny e-cards. Here goes.

Sexy is BACK!

So...things have been going pretty awesome for me lately. I got a new job, more money, weekends off, and Sunday afternoon bike rides. I can afford cable/internet now and therefore indulge my Joel McHale, Nancy Grace, and Big Brother 9 spoiler obsessions. I'm taking Cameron on her first beach trip on Memorial Day, and spending the fourth of July at a Dave concert in Charleston. Most importantly, though, the writer's strike is over, which means THE OFFICE IS BACK ON THE AIR! Life is good. Since I can't find any clips from last night's hilarious episode, I'm just posting a little tribute in case you missed it when it came out like a year ago. Wish the quality was better, but that's the youtube's fault. Enjoy!!

(Hmm...after actually taking the time to watch this video that I posted...I get the idea that it may have been doctored at 3:40. Oh well. Can't find the original!)

Two grown men crying and babbling incoherently for nine minutes straight (a.k.a. A typical day in the BB9 house)

Aw man. Looks like it might be the last week on Big Brother 9 for my boy James. He's the pink haired ex-gay porn star who strives to one day save the world by riding his bicycle a lot. (If only...) Anyway, James, if they do bring you back for All Stars, maybe try to remember not to break down and sob like a girl next time? YOU ARE ON TV. That would be super.

Word, girl.

I'm there.

Meet some more of my furriends

Random awesome video of the day

If you haven't seen The Wicker Man, with Nicholas Cage, DON'T! You'll never get that 90 minutes of your life back, trust me. Besides, the best part of the movie is right here in this blog post.

"Bear suits are funny - and ape suits as well."~~Christopher Walken

Looks like it might be Caturday!

(Just to warn you: This is the dumbest thing I've ever posted.)
MEOWWW!

Man, I love Photobucket.

Here, take an awareness test, since you're obviously bored.

Try and count the number of passes the team in white makes.

Awareness Test - Watch more free videos

Why I love Big Brother (but not as much as I love my big brother)

I know no one else in the world (besides Karen!) understands the beauty of Big Brother. There's something about a bunch of neurotic/psychotic people stuck in a house together with no contact with the outside world, and it's fun to watch them become even more neurotic/psychotic as the days pass. Here's a recent monologue of Big Gay Josh, who lost his sanity somewhere around the last week of February, I think. And he's not even the most delusional person in the house! I love it, I love it.

The move is over, thanks to God and B5C.

Just wanted to take a minute to say thank you, thank you, thank you...to B5C for helping me move. I'm sure you had no idea what you were in for when you said yes to that. Talk about some narrow winding stairs and dozens of boxes of junk and a bunch of cumbersome deteriorating furniture. I know I've already thanked you, but I just want you to know that I don't know what I'd do without B5C. I promise not to make you watch Big Brother anymore, okay? K. Thanx. Bye.

Ha ha, LOL, ha ha and etc.

I've discovered a site with the funniest e-cards ever. Check it out at someecards.com. I'm being too lazy to create a link right now, but it's under my website faves.

Happy V-Day

Check out this giant graphic I created

It's blog post #100!! Who knew I had the attention span to keep it up this long? Thanks for reading, all three (two? four?) of ya! Sorry about all the lolcats, I couldn't help it. I appreciate any comments that you leave me, but if you don't, that's okay too. Here's to a hundred more Soup clips, pictures of Cameron, and, well, whatever. Thanks for reading.

This a funny video

A regular, everyday, normal motherf**ker

Yes, again. You know you love it.

My best buddy

If these don't brighten your day...something is seriously wrong with you. And you KNOW you want to leave me some comments because you just can't believe how beautiful she is, how lucky I am, etc. Plus you never leave me comments any more.

Great story about dodgeball, Dax!

Daxflame has a dodgeball strategy and he has given it some thought so just listen. Nobody ever listens to him.

sad kitteh

By teh grace of teh Ceiling Cat

Finally, someone has taken the time to translate the entire Bible into the beautiful language of lolcat. Who knew you could make the Bible both adorable and entertaining? Thanks to B5C for sending me the link. (The "5" stands for "the future.")
And now I will share with you some of my favorite scriptures, John 3:16-21:

16. So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez 'Oh hai I givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?' 17. Cuz teh Ceiling Cat not snd hiz son 2 take all yur cookies, but so u cud maek moar cookies 4EVAR! 18. U beleevz him u getz cheezburgrs, but els you get invisibul error. 19. Lytes ar on now heer, but catzes no caer cuz they can see wit no lyte anyway. 20. Invisibul error no liek lyte, him no liek be seed. 21. Good kitteh no skeered of lyte, cuz himz not messin up."

LOL! And here's the 23rd Psalm:

1. Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)
He givz me evrithin I need.
2. He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot
an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.
3. He makez mai soul happi
an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.
4. I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.
5. He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn.
He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.
6. Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr.

Still not getting enough Soup?

Nathaniel's got dance skillz, yo.

Sticky?

Hahahahahahahahahaha. Ha. Please watch this. You will laugh.

Deep thoughts, by Randy Travis

Startin' the year off right

So, I know I'm a few days late, but after some thinking, I've finally made some resolutions, and will I keep them? I'll let ya know.

1-- Potty train the young'un.
2-- Quit smoking. Cigarettes, I mean.

Uh. Ok, that's all I came up with! And I must get back to work now; I can't spend all day thinking about this, jeeeesh. There's not a whole lot I want to change anyway, except the whole diaper-changing thing and buying diapers every other freakin' day and spending like $70 a month on cigarettes. With the money I'm going to save once my resolutions are obtained, maybe I can get cable or something.

I'm posting this video, (a scene from Rent) even though I know it's going to be stuck in my head for days to come. Hey, at least I didn't autoplay it! La vie boheme!