Newcastle: What a player.

So we were out the other night, drinking and having a good time at the Irish Pub, when out of nowhere came this beautiful English guy. He said his name was Newcastle.

I thought we had hit it off. We were definitely flirting with one another, and I was amazed at all of the remarkable qualities he seemed to have...

Well, I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back...

Bitch had stole my man!! I was so upset.

For a minute. Then we became friends with a bunch of shots and everything was fine. No hard feelings. We forgot all about that Newcastle guy. He had pretty much disappeared by the end of the night, anyway.

(Yes, I know my eyes are crossed in this picture. Shut up.)