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By: Benjamin Holmes
One upon a time there was a handsome Futurian named B5C who was renowned for his amazing character, grace, handsomeness, and combat skillz. Oddly enough, his humbleness was rarely mentioned.
Anyway, one beautiful spring day B5C was lounging by the river, musing on new ways in which he could pleasure the womenz of his village.
Suddenly, there was a crackle and lightning bolts shot out all over the place! "Oh, Snap!" cried B5C. But he didn't literally cry. It's just an expression. B5C doesn't cry over some pussy-ass lighting bolts. No wai. If he has ever cried at all. No one knows.
Anyway, this amazing crack opened up out of thin air which was made of blue and white energy. "Dag, yo," B5C cried. Again, not literally. "That's a Space-Time ContinuuWarp!"
Then Lizard Man came out of the Space-Time ContinuuWarp (STCW)!
"Curssssse You B5CCCCCC...." Lizard Man hissed. "I have come from the year Two Thousssssand SSSSSSeventy SSSSSSSeven (2777) to defeat you and the rest of earth!"
"Whatev," B5C replied. "Let's fight!"
So B5C whipped out his Future Sword and Lizard Man whipped out his Future Sword. They fought and Lizard Man lashed at B5C with his tail and choked B5C with it until B5C fired a rocket from his Rocket Boots.
Finally, B5C shot his Time Gun behind Lizard Man and kicked him into the rift in the STCW. Then Lizard Man was defeated, and Earth was safe....
Or Was It?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!!?
A few days later B5C received a letter from the past. It was from Lizard Man. It said:
Dear B5CCCCCC,
Curssse you, B5CCCCCC! I have captured your village'sssss beautiful princesssssss, Princessssss B5CCCCCC. If you want to sssssave her you will have to travel to the passsssssst, which isssss where I am. But do not bring your Future Ssssssssword or Time Gun, because everyone in the year Ssssseven Hundred Sssseventy Ssssseven (777) will think that you are a witch and the gig will be up. Sssssso in your facccce!
From,
Lizard Man
What ever will B5C do? Stay tuned for the next installment,
B5C versus the Lizard Man in the Dark Ages!
One upon a time there was a handsome Futurian named B5C who was renowned for his amazing character, grace, handsomeness, and combat skillz. Oddly enough, his humbleness was rarely mentioned.
Anyway, one beautiful spring day B5C was lounging by the river, musing on new ways in which he could pleasure the womenz of his village.
Suddenly, there was a crackle and lightning bolts shot out all over the place! "Oh, Snap!" cried B5C. But he didn't literally cry. It's just an expression. B5C doesn't cry over some pussy-ass lighting bolts. No wai. If he has ever cried at all. No one knows.
Anyway, this amazing crack opened up out of thin air which was made of blue and white energy. "Dag, yo," B5C cried. Again, not literally. "That's a Space-Time ContinuuWarp!"
Then Lizard Man came out of the Space-Time ContinuuWarp (STCW)!
"Curssssse You B5CCCCCC...." Lizard Man hissed. "I have come from the year Two Thousssssand SSSSSSeventy SSSSSSSeven (2777) to defeat you and the rest of earth!"
"Whatev," B5C replied. "Let's fight!"
So B5C whipped out his Future Sword and Lizard Man whipped out his Future Sword. They fought and Lizard Man lashed at B5C with his tail and choked B5C with it until B5C fired a rocket from his Rocket Boots.
Finally, B5C shot his Time Gun behind Lizard Man and kicked him into the rift in the STCW. Then Lizard Man was defeated, and Earth was safe....
Or Was It?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!!?
A few days later B5C received a letter from the past. It was from Lizard Man. It said:
Dear B5CCCCCC,
Curssse you, B5CCCCCC! I have captured your village'sssss beautiful princesssssss, Princessssss B5CCCCCC. If you want to sssssave her you will have to travel to the passsssssst, which isssss where I am. But do not bring your Future Ssssssssword or Time Gun, because everyone in the year Ssssseven Hundred Sssseventy Ssssseven (777) will think that you are a witch and the gig will be up. Sssssso in your facccce!
From,
Lizard Man
What ever will B5C do? Stay tuned for the next installment,
B5C versus the Lizard Man in the Dark Ages!
1 comment:
I hear that they're making this into a movie.
Teh Awesome!
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