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I now present The Bastard Fairies, just this band I found one day while surfing some website called the Youtube. They are Awesome; if you don't believe me, see Examples #1 and #2.
The Bastard Fairies are Awesome Example #1
The Bastard Fairies are Awesome Example #2
I have found (on the Youtube) many more examples but I think I've made my point. So there ya go. Oh yeah, and I like their music, too.
Thursday, May 31
Wednesday, May 30
Happy Birthday Cameron!
Time for Cameron's birthday slideshow...don't even act like you're surprised. Thanks to Karen for the pics. 
Friday, May 25
Wednesday, May 23
Episode Two: B5C vs. Lizard Man in the Dark Ages!
By: Benjamin Holmes
So B5C comes through a rift in the Space Time ContinuuWarp (STCW) without his Future Sword, Time Gun, or even his Rocket Boots. However, he had fashioned a Future Spear and Time Tunic to help him fit in in the year 777, which is where he had to meet up with Lizard Man.
"Hello!" said this man with a long white beard and a pointy hat with stars on it. "Welcome to the Palace of the Crystal Wizard!"
"So...you're Wizard Man?" said B5C with an eyebrow quizzically raised. Then, completely unprovoked, he stabbed him with his Future Spear-directly in his face. "Take that, Wizard Man!" B5C shouted.
Wizard Man's beard and face fell off and revealed a long, green, scaly snout. "Oh Snap," B5C opined, "You're not Wizard Man, you're Lizard Man. Your style is so lame. Now give me back the Princess!"
"Curssssse You, B5Ccccccccccc," Lizard Man hissed. "You figured out my ssssssneaky trap!"
"You are so lame that I am passing out, " said B5C, who swiped his Future Spear at Lizard Man's head. "In your face!"
"No, in your faccccce!" hissed Lizard Man, "Guessssssssss what! I have my Future SSSSSSSSword!"
He pulled out his Future Sword and swung it in an arc at B5C's head. "Yo! Lay off me melon!" shouted B5C.
"You sssssuck!" hissed Lizard Man.
"Hey Lizard Man! Check it out!" B5C reached under his Time Tunic and pulled out....his Time Gun! "I hid it under my Time Tunic, so that no one would think I'm a witch! Which, since you were dressed up like a Wizard, seems to be kind of bullshit now...but anyway, In. Your. Face."
Far in the distance, on top of a hill, a shepherd saw B5C whip out the Time Gun. "Dag, yo," the shepherd said to his sheepz. "That looks like a witch over there."
So anyway, B5C aimed the Time Gun behind Lizard Man and prepared to fire. Lizard Man reached into his bandoleer and pulled out a Future Grenade. He threw it at B5C, and when it detonated, all of the smoke and lasers and shit that came out caused B5C to lose his balance, so he could not fire the Time Gun.
B5C steadied himself and lifted the Time Gun again, aiming behind Lizard Man. His goal was to fire the Time Gun, open a rift in the Space-Time ContinuuWarp (STCW) and then kick Lizard Man into the rift. Unfortunately, Lizard Man whipped his tail around the Time Gun, and flung it away. Then he threw another Future Grenade at it, and it was gone.
"Fuck!' B5C yelled, momentarily forgetting that he had promised his Future Mom that he would use less Future Cusswords. "Now how am I going to defeat Lizard Man?"
At that moment, another rift in the STCW opened and out sprang Time Otter! He was dressed in a sleek gray Future Suit with blue Future Trim. "Damn Dog," B5C said. "That's a badd-ass Saddle!"
It's true, Time Otter wears a saddle, but nobody has the ballz to try to ride him. Not even Yoda. The reason that Time Otter wears a saddle is because he has a Time Gun mounted to the saddle. Which he fired at Lizard Man! A rift opened in the STCW.
B5C saw his chance! He cracked Lizard Man in his Lizard Ballz with the butt of his Future Spear. Then he took a swing at his head.
His fist smashed into Lizard Man's face, but his pinky hit Lizard Man's tooth, causing an abrasion. Fortunately, it was enough to knock Lizard Man into the STCW, and he disappeared.
"Thanks for your help, Future Buddy!" B5C said to Time Otter.
"Weebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweeble," replied Time Otter.
"OK, I don't speak Future Otter very well," said B5C, "But from what little I do know, I gather that you are seeking revenge on Lizard Man because his cousin Alligator Man came to your house, killed your whole family, and left you to die. Then you snuck into his house, killed him, made a saddle out of his skin, and stole all his Future Weaponry and vowed to take revenge on his family for what he did to yours."
"Weebleweebleweebleweebleweeble."
"Oh, OK, so he took you captive, but then you escaped. But the rest of the story is accurate, right? Whatev. Close enough. By the way, nice Future Claws."
"Weebleweeble."
"You're welcome. Well, it looks like that's the last we'll see of Lizard Man, right?"
WRONG!!!!!!
The next day B5C got a letter in the mail. It was from the future...well, at least in relation to the Dark Ages. That's what's so damn confusing about time travel. Anyway, the letter said:
Dear B5CCCCCC,
Curssse you, B5CCCCCC! I still have your village'sssss beautiful princesssssss, Princessssss K5CCCCCC. If you want to sssssave her you will have to travel to the future, which isssss where I am. But do not bring your Future Spear, Time Tunic, Future Ssssssssword, or Time Gun, because everyone in the year Eighteen Sssseventy Ssssseven (1877) will think that you are an alien and the gig will be up. Sssssso in your facccce!
From, Lizard Man
"Well, Time Otter, I guess we're in this together now. So let's bust a move!"
So the Time Otter fired a shot from the Time Gun and B5C and the Time Otter jumped into the rift in the STCW to continue their adventures.
Stay tuned for the Episode Three: B5C vs. Lizard Man in the Old West!
So B5C comes through a rift in the Space Time ContinuuWarp (STCW) without his Future Sword, Time Gun, or even his Rocket Boots. However, he had fashioned a Future Spear and Time Tunic to help him fit in in the year 777, which is where he had to meet up with Lizard Man.
"Hello!" said this man with a long white beard and a pointy hat with stars on it. "Welcome to the Palace of the Crystal Wizard!"
"So...you're Wizard Man?" said B5C with an eyebrow quizzically raised. Then, completely unprovoked, he stabbed him with his Future Spear-directly in his face. "Take that, Wizard Man!" B5C shouted.
Wizard Man's beard and face fell off and revealed a long, green, scaly snout. "Oh Snap," B5C opined, "You're not Wizard Man, you're Lizard Man. Your style is so lame. Now give me back the Princess!"
"Curssssse You, B5Ccccccccccc," Lizard Man hissed. "You figured out my ssssssneaky trap!"
"You are so lame that I am passing out, " said B5C, who swiped his Future Spear at Lizard Man's head. "In your face!"
"No, in your faccccce!" hissed Lizard Man, "Guessssssssss what! I have my Future SSSSSSSSword!"
He pulled out his Future Sword and swung it in an arc at B5C's head. "Yo! Lay off me melon!" shouted B5C.
"You sssssuck!" hissed Lizard Man.
"Hey Lizard Man! Check it out!" B5C reached under his Time Tunic and pulled out....his Time Gun! "I hid it under my Time Tunic, so that no one would think I'm a witch! Which, since you were dressed up like a Wizard, seems to be kind of bullshit now...but anyway, In. Your. Face."
Far in the distance, on top of a hill, a shepherd saw B5C whip out the Time Gun. "Dag, yo," the shepherd said to his sheepz. "That looks like a witch over there."
So anyway, B5C aimed the Time Gun behind Lizard Man and prepared to fire. Lizard Man reached into his bandoleer and pulled out a Future Grenade. He threw it at B5C, and when it detonated, all of the smoke and lasers and shit that came out caused B5C to lose his balance, so he could not fire the Time Gun.
B5C steadied himself and lifted the Time Gun again, aiming behind Lizard Man. His goal was to fire the Time Gun, open a rift in the Space-Time ContinuuWarp (STCW) and then kick Lizard Man into the rift. Unfortunately, Lizard Man whipped his tail around the Time Gun, and flung it away. Then he threw another Future Grenade at it, and it was gone.
"Fuck!' B5C yelled, momentarily forgetting that he had promised his Future Mom that he would use less Future Cusswords. "Now how am I going to defeat Lizard Man?"
At that moment, another rift in the STCW opened and out sprang Time Otter! He was dressed in a sleek gray Future Suit with blue Future Trim. "Damn Dog," B5C said. "That's a badd-ass Saddle!"
It's true, Time Otter wears a saddle, but nobody has the ballz to try to ride him. Not even Yoda. The reason that Time Otter wears a saddle is because he has a Time Gun mounted to the saddle. Which he fired at Lizard Man! A rift opened in the STCW.
B5C saw his chance! He cracked Lizard Man in his Lizard Ballz with the butt of his Future Spear. Then he took a swing at his head.
His fist smashed into Lizard Man's face, but his pinky hit Lizard Man's tooth, causing an abrasion. Fortunately, it was enough to knock Lizard Man into the STCW, and he disappeared.
"Thanks for your help, Future Buddy!" B5C said to Time Otter.
"Weebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweebleweeble," replied Time Otter.
"OK, I don't speak Future Otter very well," said B5C, "But from what little I do know, I gather that you are seeking revenge on Lizard Man because his cousin Alligator Man came to your house, killed your whole family, and left you to die. Then you snuck into his house, killed him, made a saddle out of his skin, and stole all his Future Weaponry and vowed to take revenge on his family for what he did to yours."
"Weebleweebleweebleweebleweeble."
"Oh, OK, so he took you captive, but then you escaped. But the rest of the story is accurate, right? Whatev. Close enough. By the way, nice Future Claws."
"Weebleweeble."
"You're welcome. Well, it looks like that's the last we'll see of Lizard Man, right?"
WRONG!!!!!!
The next day B5C got a letter in the mail. It was from the future...well, at least in relation to the Dark Ages. That's what's so damn confusing about time travel. Anyway, the letter said:
Dear B5CCCCCC,
Curssse you, B5CCCCCC! I still have your village'sssss beautiful princesssssss, Princessssss K5CCCCCC. If you want to sssssave her you will have to travel to the future, which isssss where I am. But do not bring your Future Spear, Time Tunic, Future Ssssssssword, or Time Gun, because everyone in the year Eighteen Sssseventy Ssssseven (1877) will think that you are an alien and the gig will be up. Sssssso in your facccce!
From, Lizard Man
"Well, Time Otter, I guess we're in this together now. So let's bust a move!"
So the Time Otter fired a shot from the Time Gun and B5C and the Time Otter jumped into the rift in the STCW to continue their adventures.
Stay tuned for the Episode Three: B5C vs. Lizard Man in the Old West!
Monday, May 21
If you've seen Freddy Got Fingered...
Then you'll probably find this amusing. If not, well, it's still funny to think about Tom Green starring in a "dark drama."
Friday, May 18
Choking back some mcvomit
Well, much to our disappointment, the season finale of Grey's Anatomy was as painfully annoying and incredibly lame as the rest of this past season. If you can't think of any reasons not to care what happens on this show anymore, I can give you a few.Meredith & McDreamy (but mainly Meredith) are pissing us off.
We thought that if only they'd finally get together, they'd live happily ever after. Instead, Meredith decides that now that she has the boyfriend any girl would kill to have (McDreamy, Meredith, come on!), she's got commitment anxiety or intimacy issues or some other bullshit. Whatever. And then the ever-so-obvious foreshadowing hints towards Derrick hooking up with Meredith's little sister. What an unexpected twist of events! (Disgusting and unnecessary, but still unexpected.)
Burke and Christina DIDN'T EVEN GET MARRIED
AFTER ALL OF THAT? Dr. Burke practicing his vows was probably the most tear-jerking part of the season finale, but Christina never got to hear them. The one couple we could depend on to stay together has fallen apart. And what for these two next season? Will we watch them deftly avoid each other in the halls until a surgery at Seattle Grace inevitably reunites them? (Gigantic yawn.)
Kallie is the new chief.
WTF. Really, Kallie was the most qualified? More so than McDreamy, Dr. Burke, McSteamy, Addison? We don't even like Kallie. She seems to have made George go away. Which brings me to the next point...
George and Izzie...aren't George and Izzie anymore.
I realize that they've both had a hard year and all, what with Denny dying and George's dad as well. But is it me, or do both of these characters bring to mind the words over-analytical, depressing, whiny, and annoying? Where are the old George and Izzie? When is the last time either of them laughed or said something remotely amusing? And if they really are in love, then please God, don't ever let me fall in love. They seem so miserable...
And, finally,
There's a spin-off.
One character that I was actually starting to like, Addison, is going to LA to hook up with the guy from Wings. But I doubt that'll happen until at least the second season.
Sounds like Smashing Pumpkins...
This is Karen's & my new favorite band, Silversun Pickups. Enjoy.
Hear the smashing pumpkin-esque awesomeness? (even though the video is a little strange)
You're welcome.
Hear the smashing pumpkin-esque awesomeness? (even though the video is a little strange)
You're welcome.
Wednesday, May 16
Episode One: B5C versus Lizard Man by the River of Doom!
By: Benjamin Holmes
One upon a time there was a handsome Futurian named B5C who was renowned for his amazing character, grace, handsomeness, and combat skillz. Oddly enough, his humbleness was rarely mentioned.
Anyway, one beautiful spring day B5C was lounging by the river, musing on new ways in which he could pleasure the womenz of his village.
Suddenly, there was a crackle and lightning bolts shot out all over the place! "Oh, Snap!" cried B5C. But he didn't literally cry. It's just an expression. B5C doesn't cry over some pussy-ass lighting bolts. No wai. If he has ever cried at all. No one knows.
Anyway, this amazing crack opened up out of thin air which was made of blue and white energy. "Dag, yo," B5C cried. Again, not literally. "That's a Space-Time ContinuuWarp!"
Then Lizard Man came out of the Space-Time ContinuuWarp (STCW)!
"Curssssse You B5CCCCCC...." Lizard Man hissed. "I have come from the year Two Thousssssand SSSSSSeventy SSSSSSSeven (2777) to defeat you and the rest of earth!"
"Whatev," B5C replied. "Let's fight!"
So B5C whipped out his Future Sword and Lizard Man whipped out his Future Sword. They fought and Lizard Man lashed at B5C with his tail and choked B5C with it until B5C fired a rocket from his Rocket Boots.
Finally, B5C shot his Time Gun behind Lizard Man and kicked him into the rift in the STCW. Then Lizard Man was defeated, and Earth was safe....
Or Was It?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!!?
A few days later B5C received a letter from the past. It was from Lizard Man. It said:
Dear B5CCCCCC,
Curssse you, B5CCCCCC! I have captured your village'sssss beautiful princesssssss, Princessssss B5CCCCCC. If you want to sssssave her you will have to travel to the passsssssst, which isssss where I am. But do not bring your Future Ssssssssword or Time Gun, because everyone in the year Ssssseven Hundred Sssseventy Ssssseven (777) will think that you are a witch and the gig will be up. Sssssso in your facccce!
From,
Lizard Man
What ever will B5C do? Stay tuned for the next installment,
B5C versus the Lizard Man in the Dark Ages!
One upon a time there was a handsome Futurian named B5C who was renowned for his amazing character, grace, handsomeness, and combat skillz. Oddly enough, his humbleness was rarely mentioned.
Anyway, one beautiful spring day B5C was lounging by the river, musing on new ways in which he could pleasure the womenz of his village.
Suddenly, there was a crackle and lightning bolts shot out all over the place! "Oh, Snap!" cried B5C. But he didn't literally cry. It's just an expression. B5C doesn't cry over some pussy-ass lighting bolts. No wai. If he has ever cried at all. No one knows.
Anyway, this amazing crack opened up out of thin air which was made of blue and white energy. "Dag, yo," B5C cried. Again, not literally. "That's a Space-Time ContinuuWarp!"
Then Lizard Man came out of the Space-Time ContinuuWarp (STCW)!
"Curssssse You B5CCCCCC...." Lizard Man hissed. "I have come from the year Two Thousssssand SSSSSSeventy SSSSSSSeven (2777) to defeat you and the rest of earth!"
"Whatev," B5C replied. "Let's fight!"
So B5C whipped out his Future Sword and Lizard Man whipped out his Future Sword. They fought and Lizard Man lashed at B5C with his tail and choked B5C with it until B5C fired a rocket from his Rocket Boots.
Finally, B5C shot his Time Gun behind Lizard Man and kicked him into the rift in the STCW. Then Lizard Man was defeated, and Earth was safe....
Or Was It?!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!!?
A few days later B5C received a letter from the past. It was from Lizard Man. It said:
Dear B5CCCCCC,
Curssse you, B5CCCCCC! I have captured your village'sssss beautiful princesssssss, Princessssss B5CCCCCC. If you want to sssssave her you will have to travel to the passsssssst, which isssss where I am. But do not bring your Future Ssssssssword or Time Gun, because everyone in the year Ssssseven Hundred Sssseventy Ssssseven (777) will think that you are a witch and the gig will be up. Sssssso in your facccce!
From,
Lizard Man
What ever will B5C do? Stay tuned for the next installment,
B5C versus the Lizard Man in the Dark Ages!
Monday, May 14
Caffeine will make you so excited, yet so scared (and then on bed rest)
I turned on the TV while I was getting ready for work this morning and found myself watching Saved By The Bell. And, as usual, I couldn't help but think about that episode where Jessie got addicted to cocaine and freaked the f**k out on her friend Zack (who apparently she's known since 3rd grade, even though she wasn't a character on the earlier "Miss Bliss" episodes of the show). Wait, that's right, it wasn't cocaine...was it meth? No! It was caffeine pills! Oh, Jessie. Times were so much simpler way back then.
Starting tomorrow: no more caffeine for me!
Starting tomorrow: no more caffeine for me!
Sunday, May 13
Party for the future!
My friend Ben is having a party. You're all welcome to attend. I'm not exactly sure what this illustration has to do with that, but whatever. (Aw man, you know I'm kidding, B5C. Lizard men and future swords really do exist.)
Thursday, May 3
Wednesday, May 2
Manda's Blog is having the Best Week Ever!
Click on any of the links below to read the funniest blog on the net. (Ever!)
Tuesday, May 1
Newcastle: What a player.
So we were out the other night, drinking and having a good time at the Irish Pub, when out of nowhere came this beautiful English guy. He said his name was Newcastle.
I thought we had hit it off. We were definitely flirting with one another, and I was amazed at all of the remarkable qualities he seemed to have...
Well, I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back...
Bitch had stole my man!! I was so upset.
For a minute. Then we became friends with a bunch of shots and everything was fine. No hard feelings. We forgot all about that Newcastle guy. He had pretty much disappeared by the end of the night, anyway.
(Yes, I know my eyes are crossed in this picture. Shut up.)
I thought we had hit it off. We were definitely flirting with one another, and I was amazed at all of the remarkable qualities he seemed to have...
Well, I got up and went to the bathroom. When I came back...
Bitch had stole my man!! I was so upset.
For a minute. Then we became friends with a bunch of shots and everything was fine. No hard feelings. We forgot all about that Newcastle guy. He had pretty much disappeared by the end of the night, anyway.
(Yes, I know my eyes are crossed in this picture. Shut up.)
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